Freaks and Geeks (And I don't mean the show!)

It's awesome that you want to boost your confidence.


But:

A) Don't practice on me...i'm misanthropic when it comes to strangers...so i'll probably crush your confidence by being rude. (I'm practicing being a new yorker...SORRY)

B) There is NO and i repeat, just like in a prison visiting ward: there is "NO TOUCHING". I don't care that you think my hat is cute or that your niece would like it. Personal space is key.

C) Don't approach someone who's already 10 mins late to work and is trying to catch the next bus. They'll be extra rude, because you're making them even more late.

D) Don't say, "I LOVE WOMEN and I don't CARE what AGE", ever so enthusiastically. It just sounds creepy, pervy, and sums up a pedophile. I went to sleep early last night and I'm pretty sure I don't smell like berries. (If you don't know this reference: American Dad, the episode about the secret peanut society).

E) Brush your teeth before you go to bed, or gnomes will come murder your mother.

GOOD LUCK!